


I’m Just Curious, Do You Have Feelings?

by jj_writes



Series: Klance Based On Songs [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adam isn't dead because fuck you, Angst, Can you guess who Lance's bf is, College AU, Expectations, Feelings, Hayley Kiyoko - Freeform, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Mutual Pining, She isn't mentioned directly but Allura isn't dead either because fuck you, Songfic, curious, klance, mildly nsfw, motorcycle, nothing detailed, nothing too bad, side shiro/adam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 02:01:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17050958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jj_writes/pseuds/jj_writes
Summary: Based on Curious and Feelings, both singles from the album Expectations by Hayley Kiyoko-----Did you take him to the pier in Santa Monica?Forget to bring a jacket, wrap up in him 'cause you wanted to?I'm just curious, is it serious?-It was two shots past his usual cut off when he happened to glance toward the door only to see the newest addition to the party.Lance.He couldn’t help but gape.  They were both clearly shocked to see the other there.Keith looked away, and took another shot.---I over-communicate and feel too muchI just complicate it when I say too muchI laugh about it, dream about that casual touchSex, fire, sick and tired of acting all tough-He didn’t know what to do.He didn’t know what to say.Lance knew he had royally fucked up, but he didn’t know how to fix it; all he knew is that he wanted Keith back.





	1. Curious

**Author's Note:**

> listen. i don't know what the hell a voltron is anymore but this fic was short, 2/3 finished, and has been sitting in my drafts since february. the voltron ending ruined my life and got me into sad klance hours so i just now finished it and decided to share it with the rest of you bc klance is canon king. it's loosely based on a few songs from hayley kiyoko's album, expectations. pls check it out thanks love u enjoy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What you been up to? Who’s been loving you good?

Keith opened his eyes upon hearing his phone buzz from the nightstand. He had been awake for quite some time, but didn’t feel obligated to actually get up until he had some motivation. The text tone gave him the opportunity, so he took a few seconds to sit up and adjust to consciousness before reaching over and grabbing at it. The notification was merely three words.

_I miss you._

Keith read the name and scoffed, putting his phone back down. He stood up and strided across the room as if distancing himself from the electronic would make him forget about it. Of course, it didn’t work in the slightest. All throughout showering, dressing, brushing his teeth, and the rest of his morning routine, Keith scowled and couldn’t stop thinking about that stupid text. _I miss you._ What a joke.

He all but stormed out of his apartment, grabbing his helmet and keys on the way, jacket and gloves already on. Class didn’t start for another two hours, but Keith figured a long ride on his bike before then would relieve some stress.

It really did, too. Rather than going straight from his home on the west side to his college on the east side, he went all the way around the outskirts of the city to ride the highways that snaked around the coast. He loved the sky in the morning, and how the sun shone down on the beaches’ shiny sand and glistening waves. Going this fast, he could only catch the view and none of the memories he had made there the summer and spring before. By the time he arrived to his history class five minutes late per usual, he was less grumpy and more like his usual resting-bitch-face self. He burst through the classroom doors, interrupting the lecture. Dozens of eyes turned towards him curiously.

Keith ignored them and climbed the steps that lead to his normal seat in the way back. It was the best seat in the hall that allowed for sneaky phone usage. The professor continued his lecture, and Keith pulled out his cell. His eyes immediately landed on the bubble announcing 1 unread text in his messaging app. He frowned, rereading the text again.

_I miss you._

How could he possibly say he _missed Keith_ and then still go everywhere with that sleazy douchebag, following him around like a puppy all the while? It didn’t make any fucking sense, Keith decided, and was total bullshit. He shouldn’t have to be involved in whatever messy love triangle his ex was entangled in.

Keith would like to say he didn’t mope through all of his Friday classes, but of course he would be lying. He sat there staring at his phone nearly the entire time, looking back on old texts and pictures and videos they shared. By the time his literature class rolled around, his last class of the day, he was back to being pissed off. The moment the professor released them he beelined straight to his bike, aiming to take another ride.

This time, it didn’t help. He took the same route as before, but eventually cursed and veered off the road in a familiar place. He had been to this pier with his ex countless times before, to swim, to walk around and talk, or to have sex on more than one occasion. It was their pier.

Keith hopped off his bike after staring for a while, setting his helmet on the seat and then making his way down to the underpart of the dock that was still on land. He found the post where he had taken out his knife and carved something cheesy into the old wood one of the last times they had been there together.

**K ♥ L**

His fingers brushed over the wood, as if it would somehow magically make it true again. In a burst of anger, he pulled out the same knife he always kept on him and prepared to slash up the wood, but hesitated just before his blade made contact. Keith’s hand began to shake, and he let the knife fall out of his hand. His forehead dropped against the post, and he sighed softly under his breath.

Keith wasn’t pissed anymore, he was just… sad.

Eventually he sat down in the sand and took out his phone, dialing his brother’s number and staring at the ocean until he answered.

“Hey, Keith. What’s up?”

“Hi, Shiro,” Keith greeted, picking up his knife and fiddling with it while he spoke. “Are you still having that party at Matt’s house tonight?”

Shiro fell silent, clearly taken aback. Keith was never much of a big party kind of guy, he preferred small get togethers with close friends, so Shiro was already suspicious.

“Yeah,” he replied after a beat, “But I thought you were heading over to Pidge’s dorm tonight?”

Keith had forgotten about that completely; he was supposed to go over and help Pidge with a project in a class he’d already taken. In the state he was currently in, though, he knew he wouldn’t be much help anyways.

“Well, plans change,” he muttered gruffly. “Are you at Matt’s? Can I come over now?”

Matt lived in a house with a few other guys from their college near downtown, so it usually ended up being the usual party spot due to its size and location. It also happened to be the usual place Keith could find his brother, what with him and Matt being best friends and all.

“Uh, we’re still at the liquor store, and we gotta go pick up snacks, but we’ll be back in an hour. Where are you?”

Keith hesitated to respond. Shiro knew what this place meant to him.

“The pier.”

Shiro huffed. “Keith-”

“It’s fine,” Keith interrupted, standing up and brushing himself off. “I’m fine. It’ll take me awhile to ride over there, anyways, so I’ll just meet you there. Bye.”

He heard Shiro begin to protest, but he was already hanging up the phone and putting it away, along with his knife. He really did not need the lecture right then. He knew he was in deep shit, but it wasn’t his fault. He wasn’t the one that disappeared halfway through summer, only to come back a few days before school started as some douchebag’s arm candy. No, none of this was Keith’s fault. The only reason he was even thinking about it was because of the text from this morning. After weeks of coexisting on the same campus with no contact, a random ‘I miss you’ text as if he was the one to run off without explanation.

Keith was definitely pissed off, and all he wanted to do was get wasted and bring some nameless home with him. He’d be damned if anyone got in his way, whether it was his brother, or conflicted ex.

He at least tried to calm himself down before entering Matt’s house well over an hour later. The two older boys were setting up chip bowls and coolers.

“Hey, Keith!” Matt greeted chirpily, taking a second to wave before going back to his task. Shiro narrowed his eyes at Keith in concern, who opted to ignore him and promptly lie down in the middle of the living room. He took his phone out, opened the texts, and thrust it into the air. His brother grabbed it and read the latest text, and his expression softened.

“Oh, Keith.”

“Don’t you ‘oh, Keith’ me,” Keith snorted, taking his phone back. “I’m fine. Just get me drunk.”

Shiro didn’t respond, deciding to back off. He knew how invested Keith was in that relationship, and how devastated he was when it fell apart. He also knew Keith better than most, and trusted his younger sibling’s judgement on the matter. Partying was a better coping mechanism than locking himself in his apartment for days on end, in his opinion at least. He went back to setting up for the party.

“I know my floor is the most comfortable thing you’ve ever laid on,” Matt called to Keith from the kitchen, “But just make sure to move somewhere more socially acceptable once people start arriving, kay?”

“Never in your fucking dreams, white boy,” Keith quipped back, smirking. “My ass is gonna stay glued to this carpet all night.”

Matt responded with laughter. He may have been closer with Shiro, but he always enjoyed Keith’s company. They joked around for a while longer, Keith eventually giving up his battle and moving to one of the various comfortable couches all around the living room. He at least waited for the first few guests to arrive before picking up a drink.

Shiro and Matt’s friends came first, so Keith opted to sip his beer and listen to their conversations since he didn’t know them all that well. It wasn’t unusual for him to hang around Shiro, so the group took no notice of him, leaving him to drink by himself.

By the time the party of a dozen had expanded to four dozen, his casual drinking had given him quite the buzz. Buzzed Keith was extremely more social than sober Keith, so although none of his close friends were there, he was still chatting up a storm. It wasn’t long before a small group of drunk girls started flirting with him, and as gay as he was, he couldn’t find it in him to turn them down. He opted to party with them instead, which quickly turned into a drinking game of some sort, with the only goal being to get wasted.

It was two shots past his usual cut off when he happened to glance toward the door only to see the newest addition to the party.

Lance.

His new boyfriend was in tow, and Keith couldn’t help but gape. Minor panic had begun to set in. He hadn’t seen him once since the campus opened up again, and the first time he tried to do something to take his mind off of what he lost, the cause of his troubles was right there in front of him. He watched Lance turn around and whisper something that made his arm candy laugh. When he turned back around, their eyes met from across the room. They were both clearly shocked to see the other there.

Keith looked away, and took another shot.

Despite how hard he tried to ignore him, Keith could feel Lance’s eyes burning into the back of neck for the next hour. He threw himself back into the party, trying desperately to ward off any tempting impulses. The most extreme measure he could take was to allow one of the drunk girls- Alex, or maybe Allie, he thought- to grind on him, if only to turn him off as much as it could. 

One moment of weakness ruined everything. He had just barely glanced over the girl’s shoulder to where he knew Lance was watching him, and their eyes met. Lance bit his lip, and it was over.

They had been together long enough for Keith to learn every tick Lance had, and biting his lip could only mean one of two things: anxiety, or lust. He figured it was the latter.

Keith pushed the girl off of him and beelined straight over to Lance. His boyfriend was nowhere in sight, so he grabbed his arm and dragged him over to the empty hallway, shoving him far enough down that no prying eyes from the party could see them.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Keith snarled, anger flooding his features. Lance stared back at him, perplexed at the outburst. He wasn’t sure what he expected when Keith stormed over, but it wasn’t that.

“What?”

“What the fuck is your problem?” Keith repeated, crossing his arms. He was pissed.

“Nothing!” Lance barked out, immediately defending himself. He lowered his voice. “Nothing,” he murmured, “I just… how are you?”

Keith blinked at him.

“What?”

Lance shifted nervously on his feet, but swallowed and put on a confident face for the sake of appearance.

“How are you?”

Keith narrowed his eyes, bewildered.

“You don’t care. Why are you here?”

“I do care. I wouldn’t have come if I didn’t care.”

“You wouldn’t have ignored me for months if you cared,” Keith spat back. Lance bit his lip, glancing down at the floor. That stung.

“Why can’t you just leave me alone?” Keith continued, uncrossing his arms to let them hang at his sides. He was frustrated, but the sharp edge to his voice had all but disappeared.

“Because… I miss you.”

Lance reached for Keith’s hand, but the other pulled away before he could come close.

“You don’t miss me, you miss the sex,” he accused, taking a step away from him in case he tried for his hand again.

“Well… yeah, I miss the sex, but-“

“That’s what I thought.”

He turned to leave, but Lance called out before he could take a step.

“Please, wait. Why can’t we just go back to what we had?”

“You just don’t fucking get it, do you?” Keith snapped, whipping back around. Lance just stared at him. Keith sighed, shaking his head side to side. He took a deep breath before continuing on, struggling to control his anger.

“It was never just sex for me, Lance,” he explained, voice straining from the faux calmness. “There were... feelings… involved. At least for me. I can’t pretend they went away in the weeks we’ve been apart just because you want a quick fuck.”

Lance blinked at him, surprised. He took only a few moments to let the shock set in before wiping his expression and regaining himself. He stepped forward and placed a hand on Keith’s hip, looking down at him.

“I still miss you,” he murmured lowly, his voice coated in lust.

In one swift movement, Keith pushed Lance against the wall, locked his arms on either side of his face, and stepped between his legs, using a thigh to grind against his cock through the tight denim. Lance gasped and Keith leaned in even closer, their parted lips mere centimeters apart, near enough to kiss.

“How can you miss me when you’re still with him?” Keith rumbled, brushing against his lips with every sound.

Lance’s head lolled to the side, clearly too turned on to register the question. Keith wouldn’t have it, and grabbed his jaw, jerking Lance’s face towards him.

“Tell me, Lance,” he growled, holding his head in place and pressing harder with his thigh, “I’m curious. Do you actually miss me, or do you just miss me fucking you into the mattress?”

Lance’s eyes widened, but rather than deny it, another moan escaped his lips. Keith snorted, releasing his grip and stepping away altogether just as quickly as he had strode in. Lance nearly collapsed, scrambling to catch his bearing against the wall to avoid falling down. He looked up at Keith in shock, face red and eyes completely black from lust, but the other was already beginning to leave. Before disappearing back into the crowd, Keith added one more comment over his shoulder.

“If you’re willing to take me- take _us_ \- seriously, you know where to find me.”

Lance watched him blend back into the crowd, and then slid down the wall. He was drunk, horny, and without Keith. That did _not_ go as planned.


	2. Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm hooked on all these feelings, I know exactly what I'm feelin'

Lance was an idiot.

No, scratch that. Lance was a _fucking_ idiot. He was an idiot for going to the party, he was an idiot for texting Keith the morning before, and he was a _fucking_ idiot for breaking up with Keith in the first place.

Honestly, suggesting that Lance simply _'broke up with'_ Keith was already pushing it. He didn’t talk to him, or call him, or even send a text. Lance just ran. He ran away from the situation because he couldn’t handle how real it had gotten. He’d wanted a real relationship since the first time he met Keith, but he’d been too afraid to ask after they stayed as friends-with-benefits. Rather than tell him that, he assumed the only way to avoid completely breaking his heart would be to run. He’d gotten hurt by someone he loved before, and he wasn’t about to do it again. So he lowered his standards until he got a guy that would never be able to make him completely happy, all to avoid falling for someone that could just hurt him again. Hence how he landed his current boyfriend, Bo, still unconscious in bed next to him.

Lance looked over at him, and the guilt from what happened last night rushed to his head. After Keith had left, Lance didn’t go after him like he should have. He should have gone after him and told him how sorry he was, and explained himself, but he didn’t. Lance was conflicted and drunk and horny, so he went and found Bo, who in turn found an abandoned bedroom to lock themselves in.

But the sex didn’t cure Lance’s heartache like he desperately wished it would. It did the exact opposite of that, because while he let his drunk boyfriend sloppily fuck him in a stranger’s bed, his thoughts drifted to Keith. When he finally came, it wasn’t because of anything Bo was doing; it was because Lance was imaging Keith’s hands all over him, whispering in his ear, holding him close. He had to bite his tongue to keep from saying his name.

The afterglow only reminded him of the last time he and Keith slept together. It was a Sunday and they had spent most of the day in Keith’s bed, having sex and talking and laughing and just spending time together. The sun streamed in from the window, warming the room, and Lance had never felt more at home in his life. It wasn’t just fucking anymore, they were making love, and that scared him. He wasn’t prepared for what was once casual sex to turn into love, so he ran away like a coward before it could.

And yet, for the past month he felt empty inside. He had already fallen for Keith when he ran. He was riddled with guilt, and sadness, and it was all his fault and he had no idea how to fix it. Plan one was to try texting him, but ultimately got ignored. Plan two was to stalk their mutual friend’s social media until he found a passive aggressive post about how Keith ‘chose their brother over them’, and then convince Bo to bring him to Matt’s party. 

Thankfully, plan two was a success. He finally saw Keith again, and knew he had to get him back, even if it was just sex to Keith.

But it had backfired because he never knew Keith felt the same way about him. It wasn’t just about sex for Keith either. Lance had ran so he wouldn’t lose Keith, but he only lost him because he ran.

Therefore, Lance was a big, stupid, fucking _idiot._

And he was pretty sure he was naked in Matt’s bed.

He slipped out from under the covers and searched around the floor until he found underwear that was probably his, and put it on along with the rest of his outfit that was pooled at the edge of the bed. Then he snuck out of the room as silently as he could; he was hungover and wanted nothing to do with his boyfriend.

Lance was thinking about the best way to end it with Bo- disappearing on two separate guys without explanation would really damage his moral compass- when he walked into the living room. Adam was passed out on a recliner, but Lance froze in place when he noticed Matt and Shiro playing Minecraft on the couch. Both pairs of eyes swiveled towards him curiously and he froze in place.

“Uh,” he choked out, face going red. Their awkward eye contact was interrupted by a retching noise coming from the part of the house Lance emerged from. He turned around to look but whipped back around when he heard a toilet flush, slightly panicked.

“If he asks, please tell him you haven’t seen me,” Lance pleaded, suddenly animating himself and striding across the living room to the door. He paused just before leaving, looking back at Matt with a guilty look.

“Thank you for your hospitality, the party was great but you might want to wash your sheets.”

He raced through the door and only heard an “ew, gross!” and the beginning of Matt’s protests before fleeing the yard as quickly as possible. Lance only slowed his gait when he knew he was far enough away from the house that Bo wouldn’t see him if he went outside. He took a deep breath, and became lost in thought again.

He didn’t know what to do.

He didn’t know what to say.

Lance knew he had royally fucked up, but he didn’t know how to fix it; all he knew is that he wanted Keith back.

No, not back. Wanting him back suggested returning to their previous arrangement of casual sex with heavy underlying feelings. He wanted more than that, and knew things would have to be different this time.

Lance wanted a boyfriend, not a lover.

“Hey, Lance!”

His head snapped up and he looked over towards the shout. A now wide-awake Adam was idling in his truck in the street, gesturing him over. Lance looked up and down the street before awkwardly crossing it and walking closer to the vehicle.

“Hop in the back,” Adam said, and Lance gave him a confused look, earning him an eye roll. “This isn’t a kidnapping, Shiro’s back there, just get in.”

Well, he couldn’t exactly refuse- well, he could but the both of them were much bigger and stronger than Lance, even with only three arms put together- so he opened up the rear door and climbed into the truck.

Shiro, ever the responsible adult, gestured for Lance to buckle his seatbelt.

Man, this was weird.

As soon as it clicked into place, Shiro smacked him upside the head.

“Ow! What was that for?” he yelped, eyes going wide.

“For being an idiot! ‘I miss you’? Really?”

Lance blushed. He couldn’t find the right words then, and he certainly couldn’t find the right words now.

“Honestly, Lance,” he grumbled. “Obviously Keith misses you too, but if you really think that-”

“Wait, he misses me too?” Lance interrupted.

“Shut up and listen!” Adam quipped from the front seat. Lance fell silent.

“...If you really think that what you did then and what you’re doing now is the way to go,” Shiro continued, “You’re not the person I thought you were.”

Lance hung his head. He knew he was right. He had actually met Keith through his older brother in the first place, and it was apparent to him now that Shiro probably had more to do with their relationship than he originally thought. Deep down, Lance knew what he had to do, but he was afraid of rejection. He had already screwed things up so badly, he didn’t know if there was any possibility of coming back from it.

Even if he couldn’t fix things with Keith, though, he realized he needed to at least face him.

He turned to Shiro to share his thoughts, but Shiro put up his hand.

“I’m not the person to talk to.”

The vehicle stopped, and as Lance looked out the window he immediately recognized where they had stopped.

Keith’s apartment building.

He looked back at Shiro with wide eyes, but the older man just stared blankly back at him.

“I’ll just. Uh,” Lance stammered. “Um.”

“Lance.”

He sighed and opened the door, stepping onto the curb and staring up at the complex. When he turned around, Shiro had moved to the passenger seat and both he and his boyfriend were staring at Lance expectantly through the window.

“Here we go,” Lance murmured, turning back around and hyping himself up. Ever the dramatic, he had to force his feet to carry him into the entrance. His fingers felt numb when he punched the familiar passcode into the keypad, 4701, granting him access into the lobby. By the time he had pressed 7 and made it into the elevator, he was in full blown panic mode. The 6 floors it took him to get to his destination did not grant him enough time to figure out what he was going to say. He walked down the hallway, counting the tiles as he went. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. He looked up.

708.

Lance wasn’t scared anymore.

He knocked on the door.

“I know I don’t deserve it, but please hear me out,” he began as soon as the door opened. He took in Keith’s tired appearance. The shaggy, too-long hair obscuring much of his face. The red cheeks that accompanied his apparent hangover. The soft lips that were hanging open in a soft, shocked ‘o’. Lance plowed on.

“I was horrible to you and I know that,” he said. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but you deserve an explanation.”

Keith pursed his lips, glancing at the floor. He remained silent, but Lance took that as a signal to continue.

“I ran away from you because I was afraid. I ignored my feelings because I think… I think that I was falling in love with you.”

At this, Keith looked back up at Lance in surprise at the blunt remark. Usually he would come up with any and every excuse possible instead of taking blame, but in this case. Well. He didn’t. He was being honest. He stared at him, suddenly interested in what he had to say.

Trying not to lose his nerve, Lance continued, speaking even quicker. “I think I was falling in love with you, and I was afraid of messing it up, so I messed it up before it got serious, but the thing is, it already was,” he rambled. “I know that doesn’t make sense, but at the time it did to me. I thought it would save me heartbreak, but it just caused more. I don’t want to assume what you were feeling, but I know I hurt you too, and I’m sorry.”

He paused, taking a breath.

“I’m sorry, Keith.”

Keith kept staring at Lance, trying to pin his expression. For once, it wasn’t a look full of expectations. He had said his piece, and was leaving it entirely up to Keith what he wanted to do with it. It was… a start.

“And if I did decide to forgive you,” Keith said, slowly, loving the soft but sharp inhale of breath from the other, “What would happen next?”

Lance cocked his head to the side as if he hadn’t even considered the possibility. Before he even contemplated reconnecting with Keith, he knew he had to cut ties with Bo the proper way. No more running away from relationships, regardless of whether they were serious or not. Even then, he knew he and Keith would have to talk about what happened so they could put it behind them before moving forward. He pondered his next words carefully.

“Well,” he said, “I would probably ask you out for coffee.”

Keith thought about Lance’s response. He thought about it a little more.

“It’s a date,” he said with finality, breaking into a small smile.

It would take some time, but Lance was pretty sure he could do things right this time. He returned the smile, overjoyed at the opportunity to make things right, and to potentially make things perfect.

“It’s a date.”


End file.
